Oh, sprinkles cost extra

My sister is so cheap. She took me to Ben and Jerry's this afternoon and, using two gift certificates for a small ice cream, purchased cones for herself and me. When we left the store, D. snatched the frozen treat from my hands before I could even have a lick. We then drove to another Ben and Jerry's across town, where she attempted to return the cones in exchange for cash.

The cashier refused, of course. In response, D. burned down the entire store and collected on the insurance, since she owns every building in town.