Misunderstandings
There is really no easy way to say this, so I'll be frank: A police officer arrested me on Saturday night and booked me on charges of prostitution. I was additionally charged with drug violations and giving false information. It was a horrible night, and rest assured that my sister did nothing to make it any better.
It all began when I stepped outside the Manor at 5 p.m. with the intention of refilling a prescription or two (okay, seven) at CVS. I saw a Mercedes convertible idling by the curb and assumed (falsely, as I should have known and would soon discover) that D. had surprised me with car service for the day.
Happy for once in my life, I skipped over to the vehicle and let myself into the passenger seat. I instructed the driver to take me to the alley behind CVS - to avoid paparazzi - and when we arrived, I asked him if I could borrow $10 to cover my copay. This is when things turned really ugly!
The driver revealed his badge and placed me in handcuffs on the spot. As he patted me down, he discovered an expired bottle of OxyContin prescribed to an alias of mine, ergo the drug violations charge. As a last resort, I mentioned to him that I am the sister of D., to which he replied, "And I'm Tony Danza!" That explains the false information charge.
When I got to jail, I tried to call my sister, but of course her number was busy. Nine hours later, I finally got through, only to hear D. tell me that I'm a bad person for getting arrested. If that's not the pot calling the displaced Katrina refugees black, then I don't know what is.
It took a few phone calls and a $45,000 bribe to get me out of this mess, but at least I'm back at home, safe and sound. My sister is still angry with me for "once again" bringing shame upon the family. I'll remember this the next time there's a warrant out for her arrest.
It all began when I stepped outside the Manor at 5 p.m. with the intention of refilling a prescription or two (okay, seven) at CVS. I saw a Mercedes convertible idling by the curb and assumed (falsely, as I should have known and would soon discover) that D. had surprised me with car service for the day.
Happy for once in my life, I skipped over to the vehicle and let myself into the passenger seat. I instructed the driver to take me to the alley behind CVS - to avoid paparazzi - and when we arrived, I asked him if I could borrow $10 to cover my copay. This is when things turned really ugly!
The driver revealed his badge and placed me in handcuffs on the spot. As he patted me down, he discovered an expired bottle of OxyContin prescribed to an alias of mine, ergo the drug violations charge. As a last resort, I mentioned to him that I am the sister of D., to which he replied, "And I'm Tony Danza!" That explains the false information charge.
When I got to jail, I tried to call my sister, but of course her number was busy. Nine hours later, I finally got through, only to hear D. tell me that I'm a bad person for getting arrested. If that's not the pot calling the displaced Katrina refugees black, then I don't know what is.
It took a few phone calls and a $45,000 bribe to get me out of this mess, but at least I'm back at home, safe and sound. My sister is still angry with me for "once again" bringing shame upon the family. I'll remember this the next time there's a warrant out for her arrest.
posted by Landlady Bing @ 9:06 AM
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