Unanimous

Like the last 24 years of my life, the weekend brought little but disappointment and sorrow. I had plans to travel to West Virginia with my sister and tidy up our five-acre bohemian resort community before tourist season starts up in May. Unfortunately, it rained throughout Friday and Saturday, so D. cancelled our trip faster than an evicted tenant could cancel a rent check. (Fast, but never fast enough!)

This explains why I spent my Friday night with D., ensconced against my will on the fifth floor, watching game shows on her new, stolen, widescreen TV.

Now, have you ever seen "Unanimous" on Fox? Well, it's my sister's favorite show. There is $1.5 million in cash at stake and nine people have to agree on which one of them will get to keep it. But for every minute that ticks by without a unanimous vote, the total prize payout dips by a dollar!

D. says she plans on using this scheme on the tenants. She's going to line everyone up in the lobby, and for each second that passes before someone steps forward and admits to upturning a potted plant in front of her office door on Friday night, everyone's rent goes up by $47!

At that rate, my sister would hit the rent control ceiling for most units within an hour. I explained this to D., but she doesn't seem to care. After all, I can't tell her what to do.